Growing up as the youngest in my family, I was always the one who got the most attention. Why? I’m not sure, but my brothers and sister always treated me well overall. Around the age of seven or eight, I started noticing that I looked at men and boys a little differently. I questioned my curiosity but didn’t think much of it at the time.

Throughout school, I was one of the popular kids - very outgoing, and people often came to me for advice or help. Something about that made me feel like the “mama bear” of my friend group. I played sports, was into cars as a hobby, and girls would often ask me out.

I started dating girls when I was in sixth grade, and as I got older and went into high school, I dated more. But something inside me still questioned my sexuality. During gym class or while on the football and wrestling teams, I would sometimes catch myself looking at other boys.

After graduating high school, I got my first job at Whole Foods Market, and that’s where I was really exposed to gay men and women - and saw how happy and free they were. I then revisited that idea of possibly sleeping with a man to see if my sexuality preference was that, turns out, I enjoyed it and it made me feel very warm and fuzzy inside. I knew I wanted to date men and live authentically as a gay man. I was 18 years old.

Being a Palestinian-American man from a very religious, first-generation family, I was terrified to come out. In my head, being gay was wrong. I hid that part of myself for years and stayed closeted until about the age of 27.